Conscientiousness with a side of steadiness.

Just days before, a little something known as a 'Personal Profile System' helped us identify ourselves based on a series, 28 sets to be exact, of personality traits towards which we decided which of the four in each set captured our essence most and which was a stretch from how we took ourselves to be. Whether we felt we were more daring and less cautious, there were plenty to choose from and each trait had two correlating letters (Z,Q,X,W, or Y): one for the Most column and another for the Least column. After careful consideration and progressing through each set of traits one by one, we were left with a page-long list of letters and no idea where we'd be headed with it. With a few little calculations and plotting a few points on a graph, we were able to see what we fit the mold of most and what was a close second. The four possibilities were: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientousness, and what I came to see was that I was mostly Conscientious and quite Steady, a Cs, at that. Each characterization had a brief walk-through as to what described each kind of person/potential manager and the first thing going through my mind when reading that was: whoa.

The guidelines for interpretation definitely got it right in terms of how I am when it comes to life at work, at school and anything I do apart from those settings. Conscientiousness involves working in such a way that ensures quality and accuracy in the circumstances at hand. If that's not me in a nutshell, then I don't know what is. I tend to be about as conscientious as one can get especially at work, always finding something to be meticulous about, always wondering what can be done to better the present situation, and being way self-critical all the time as well as equally weighing out the pros and cons whenever that can be done. When i'd started out at my internship, even to this very day and it's been several months since that first day, I would spend time focusing on the little aspects of the given task as well as the generally significant ones almost to a point that it seemed like I was finding reasons to critique something about what I was doing but in my defense, it was all in the name of a good impression for a dedicated intern who just wants things to be done the way they should be done.

In regards to conflict, I can take a step in bringing it down to a minimum; if it just so happens to be a decision-making one, i'll either collaborate or accomodate but will I be the first to take a stand and bring everybody's attention to the fact that there is a conflict to begin with? Not the majority of the time and it really is something that strikes me as not so great because that's something that I should be able to do effortlessly as a part of the workforce so in terms of what i hope to be, that would be a dominant D who can say what needs to be said and enforce what needs to be done whereas I'm stuck in my bubble of being subtle and often indirect. I also tend to become a systematic thinker when approached with a problem, meaning that I approach those very problems in a rational, step-by-step and very analytical fashion. Everything to me is fact-based, always asking myself like "how do I know this is the way it is?"...it gets a little ridiculous, I can admit that freely. Organization and planning is key to me especially at work; when I feel like i have enough organization and things laid out accordingly in front of me to the extent that I can continue on with whatever it is, I will.

Then there's the Steadiness quality. Consistency is a big thing for me but I do like to vary it up every now and then; a day at the office filled with the same structured task for eight hours straight can make even the most steadiest of people lose it. I like to think I'm a pretty patient person and if there's a voice that needs to be heard, I'm the ear to listen. The ideas of 'sincere appreciation' as well as enlisting others to encourage my creativity, as the section of Steadiness points out to be something a steady person prefers and must have in order to prove themselves a little more effective, I don't think that's really the case with me. If it just so happens that my work is appreciated, that's all fine and great but the effort put in wouldn't diminish if that were to not be the case. Also, I'm a firm believer in being creative whenever you can be so encouraged creativity is unnecessary for me because whenever i can 'sass something up' or step outside of the box, that's a chance I'll take.

I wish, I wish, upon a star..

We were all children at one point; a fair share of wandering minds, curiosity for days, our heads in the sky that was our only limit from where we stood wishing we could be big and strong and famous when we grow up. Of course as any child could attest to, we'd been told our dreams would get us nowhere fast because we needed to quit dreaming so big and be realistic for a change, though how many of us actually listened? I sure didn't - but rather, just went right back to what I'd been doing all along and that meant keeping my head in the clouds until I could get a grip on what could happen realistically. To this day, I still find myself in “la-la land” from time to time, that little curly-haired dreamer I was so many years back but now with that tad of realism. A dream is just "a wish your heart makes" unless it is fulfilled; a plan to make the dream into so much more than just a ‘what-if’ twirling around in your head. Sometimes our dreams are pretty generic while others are specifically drawn out to a T of what one wants out of their life. A vision is strong, a vision is good to have but what do you really have if you don’t motivate yourself to put this dreamed-of plan into action? Hence, the adage goes the way it does for a reason: Vision without action really is just a dream. Action without a purpose-filled vision is a waste of one’s time. The combination of a vision with an accompanying action leaves the world at your feet and things happen.

I like to sit back and just think my way into tomorrow as much as the next girl but I think I’ve found my fair share of visions that I’ve held close for quite some time now:

(1) First off, I would love to just graduate college with a great GPA and an accounting degree while with a minor in psychology, to set forth a future that I’ve dreamed of for so long. I’d been interning at CB Developers, a real-estate/construction firm with quite the bundle of personalities that has genuinely taught me so much about accounting information systems, accounting in general and the real world, in the short amount of time that I’ve worked there. Perhaps, my already-there knowledge plus a degree would make quite the impact on my future yet there's no telling what my future will actually hold. Maybe that future is going to consist of my own firm or working for someone else’s or using a Bachelor’s degree in accounting as the basis for a Master’s degree in something totally different like marking or maybe even psychology but as I always tell myself: only time can set everything in stone. Of course I know it’s not going to take a simple degree or a license to make something out of the life I want for myself: building upon networking connections is crucial, striving for more internships rather than relying on only one to teach me the know-how’s of the world away from the intern desk. I was once that person who just aimed for the stars because those stars are going to lead me to a career that would make me more money than I can ever hope to spend but years have given me more wisdom than I could ever hope to use and I see that unless I absolutely love my career, there’s no point in starting one up so that’s become more of a vision than a well-paying career ever would.



(2) As mentioned in my first point, working for a firm - well-renowned or that little business that could – would really put everything that I’ve taken from school and my internship to the test by means of throwing me into the real world where there really is so much more than studying a few chapters or getting coached through writing checks and deposit slips and taking messages for a boss about business meetings. Though New York has been really good to me so far, I’m a big traveler with a wandering mind. I love to just sight-see and people-watch and basically explore horizons that even a diversity-filled New York City hasn’t quite shown me. Ever since my 13th birthday, the summer before my last year of junior high, I’ve dreamt of traveling to Australia, Italy, London, Greece and even to my parent’s childhood home in Moldova, Russia to see what they called home when they were my age. It really is a sense of amazement; hopping on a plane and then setting foot on foreign soil where I can then observe cultures at work and later perhaps build a career in the field I’d pursued a degree in or change my mind on the spot but at least I'll know that possibilities are practically endless when there's so much beauty and diveristy taking place at your fingertips.



(3) Aside from the basic business career and travels around and about, I hope to revisit a big aspect of my childhood - dance: ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary, jive; you name it. I still keep in touch with a few childhood friends of mine that I’d taken those dance classes with and they’ve all abandoned it the second they “grew up” and averted their focus onto bigger and better things. I let it go briefly to focus on studies and such but after watching episodes of televised dance shows and seeing just how thrilled each and every person out there on the stage is once they’re in their element; that was the little birdie that told me to not lose interest quite so fast. I took up dancing again in high-school then did it for the first two years in college and in the long-run, I hope to perhaps open up my own little dance studio just like my former dance instructor did and as she also did, give little girls and boys another hobby that may or may not become their life in the future. It goes without saying that it'll talk more than just a "want" to make this happen: a business license, a spare space to build the studio on, a "business sense" to run the studio as well as building upon my knowledge of dance in the process. The very moment I stepped foot on a hardwood dance-floor after all of those years and listening to the music I left behind for whatever the reason was so many years ago, I knew I would be ready to make this into something more than just a hobby.

(4) Last, but certainly not least, is a goal that I've struggled with and hopefully it'll come easier as the years go on: staying healthy and keeping stress at an all-time-low, if humanly possible at all. It can be relative to the business goal / personal goal I've set for myself of being financially on-point while loving the career I pursue and take on in the future. I've always sort of noticed that I find reasons to stress about something, over-analyze and basically come close to 'thinking myself into a coma', as I've been told i have a tendency of doing. I don't like to do it, I don't purposely do it but for some odd reason, I just can't let the simplistic scenarios stay simple and I get myself worked-up to the point that it's difficult to come back down. It's been getting a little easier to just let things go the way they go by staying more organized when it comes to schoolwork and time management, and taking time out of an already-hectic school and work schedule to devote to "me-time": not necessarily splurging on the latest blowout sale on fifth avenue but rather, a nap here and there, drowning out worries and relaxing - the only surefire way I can achieve this long-term goal in the long run. Aside from the very obvious stress-factor, I want to live a healthy lifestyle, which I strive towards by spending time in the gym doing a little bit of yoga or the treadmill when I can and steering clear of food that I know I'll indulge in far more than I should. A little innocent indulgence is okay from time to time but even though I haven't learned the wonders of time management yet (a goal to consider), food management has gotten handled rather well, at least I think so.